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别让孩子太忙,科学地“虚度光阴”,为成长储备能量

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发表于 2017-6-18 08:27:48 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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曾经,童年生活被人们描述为“无忧无虑、自由自在”,可是当下,孩子们还是如此的无忧和自在吗?我们看到很多在各种兴趣班之间奔忙着的孩子,在各种活动间隙急着更换行头的孩子。
他们的时间被钟表上的分针精确安排,他们的活动被各种名目的“提高”和“培养”充满,他们的父母绞尽脑汁地把他们的日常生活安排得尽量“科学”、“高效”,似乎给孩子那么一段空闲,父母们就会感不自在。孩子们真的需要那么多被“科学”安排的活动吗?
英国心理专家经过研究指出,对孩子们来说,“虚度光阴”是一种休息,也是能量储备,大人对孩子的过多安排会扼杀孩子的独立性和创造力。
那么什么年龄段孩子需要父母较多的参与安排其时间,引导其活动,什么年龄段的孩子则需要更多的时间来自由支配呢?
0—3岁的孩子,需要父母更多的帮助安排。
英国社会心理学教授帕特里克·奥唐纳用了15年的时间,研究父母或大人对孩子的游戏和生活的指导行为及其影响,结果发现孩子天生具有游戏和探索的天性,但在3岁之前,这种行为一般需要在父母指导下进行,以便帮助孩子发掘兴趣,帮助他们学会语言。
因为处于这个年龄段的孩子活动和自我保护能力有限,很多方面都处于被动状态,难以达成理想的游戏和探索方式。
比如说,婴儿需要闻各种气味以刺激嗅觉发展,但如果父母不帮助他们,他们就闻不到各种气味。因此,他们真的会因为“太闲”而虚度光阴,错过一些关键的发展时期。
3岁以后,孩子自主期,要留够时间给孩子。
孩子开始对社会活动感兴趣,在正常情况下,如果孩子们发现感兴趣的事情,或希望融入孩子间的社交活动,就不会感到无聊,除非他们发现没有玩伴或活动的限制太多。
父母无需担心因为“闲着”而错过发展和提高的机会,因为他们已经有足够的主动性去寻找机会,参与某些活动,从中获得发展。
因此,对于3岁以上的孩子,父母需要给他们留出一定的时间空隙,这将有助于他们主动思考、选择,从而发展自己的能力。
5—6岁,是孩子自主社交的关键时期,给更多的空闲时间。
在这个年龄阶段,孩子们不喜欢过多和父母或兄弟姐妹待在一起,而更喜欢和其他同龄孩子玩耍。在这种自主的交往活动中,孩子们会碰到一些真实的问题,也会努力以自己的方式去解决。
甚至有时候,孩子看似在无目的的“瞎玩”或者无聊地呆着,其实有可能是在调整情绪或者储备能量,这都是机体本身所真正需要的。
所以,对于5—6岁的孩子,父母应给他们更多“空闲”时间自由支配。让他们做自己喜欢做的事,想自己喜欢想的事,甚至是发一会儿呆。那些喜欢分秒看着孩子的父母要注意了,不能时刻充当“卫星定位仪”,监控孩子。
家长可以做些什么,让孩子的“空闲”时间和无聊状态更有价值呢?
1.多带孩子去公园,特别是乡村公园,让孩子接触树木、溪流和大自然。
2.带孩子去有天然游泳池的海滩。
3.条件允许的话,在郊外或室外进行烧烤活动,孩子们爱做什么就做什么。
4.让孩子自己照顾自己的生活,让他们在客厅和厨房里帮忙,比如打扫之类。
5.在假期里,允许孩子整天穿着睡衣,允许他们饿了才吃东西而不一定定时进食,允许他们晚上到屋外去看星星等等。至少在假期的一半时间里让他们拥有悠闲的生活。
6.尝试带孩子去一些“冒险乐园”游玩,选择适合他们年龄的活动,让他们尽兴而归。
7.无论在哪里,都不要总是试图安排自己孩子的活动。

作者:胡雪瑛

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